Guilty pleasure: why do we feel so good about what makes us so ashamed?

Have you ever found yourself unable to stop watching a reality show at three in the morning — 'one more episode and then sleep' — wrapped in a blanket and rustling a bag of chips? Or maybe you have a track that you'd call 'kind of cheesy' in front of friends, but once you put on headphones you're already singing from the first to the last line?

If you recognized yourself, congratulations: you have a guilty pleasure. And no, you are not alone — there are far more people like this than is commonly thought.

What is it anyway?

A guilty pleasure — literally 'guilty pleasure' — is anything that brings us genuine joy but also causes a slight (or not so slight) pang of conscience. Usually it's something that doesn't fit our image of a 'proper', 'adult' or 'cultured' person.

Pop music that 'serious people' don't listen to. Fast food when you're supposed to be eating healthily. Vampire novels, even though you only read non-fiction. Two hours on TikTok when you planned to pop in for 5 minutes 'just to check'.

The list is endless — and everyone has their own.

Why does the brain love it so much?

From a neurobiological point of view it's all logical. When we do something pleasurable — the brain releases dopamine. It's the neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure and motivation. It doesn't know whether the pleasure is 'proper' or not. It doesn't care that you're watching 'Desperate Housewives' instead of a documentary about quantum physics.

An interesting nuance: the element of 'forbiddenness' only amplifies the effect. Research shows that the feeling of slightly breaking the rules adds adrenaline and sharpens the experience. That's why a chocolate bar alone in the fridge seems tastier than the same chocolate in public.

Where does the 'guilt' come from?

Guilt, however, is a social construct. We are ashamed of our pleasures not because they are objectively bad, but because somewhere along the line we learned: they're 'lowbrow', 'not serious', 'not smart enough' or 'not healthy enough'.

Society actively creates a hierarchy of pleasures. Yoga and classical music are 'good'. A TV-series marathon and a burger are a 'weakness'. But who invented these rules? And why do we follow them?

Is it harmful or not?

It's important to distinguish two cases here.

When a guilty pleasure is normal: you watch a sitcom instead of reading an intellectual book. You eat pizza on Friday, even though you ate 'right' all week. You dance in the kitchen to a 2009 pop hit. This is not just normal — it's healthy. Small 'deviations' reduce stress, give the brain a rest and prevent burnout from endless self-discipline.

When to pay attention: if a guilty pleasure becomes a way to escape anxiety, to numb emotions or the only source of joy in life — that's a warning sign. Not a reason for self-criticism, but a reason to talk to yourself or a professional.

Maybe it's time to stop feeling guilty?

Psychologists increasingly argue that the word 'guilty' itself is a problem in this context. When we constantly call our small joys 'sins', we teach ourselves that we deserve pleasure only with caveats. And that's a direct road to perfectionism and a chronic feeling of inadequacy.

The alternative is to call it simply pleasure. No 'guilty'. I watch reality TV because I like it. I eat ice cream because I want to. I listen to this song because it lifts my mood. Period.

Self-acceptance begins with small things. And very often — with the ability to allow yourself joy without self-punishment.

Small test: what does your guilty pleasure say about you?

Psychologists have long noticed that people who can take pleasure in 'not serious' things generally cope better with stress and are more emotionally flexible. The ability to enjoy small things is a skill, not a weakness.

So next time you watch another episode of a soap opera or order a burger at 11 p.m. — try doing it without guilt. Just with pleasure. You deserve it.